Am I Dating a Narcissist?
Here are some warning signs that a person you have met or are starting a relationship with may be a Narcissist.
He may blame every mistake of his, every inadequacy or mishap on others, or on the world at large.
He may be hypersensitive to ribbing and insults. He may treat children or animals with little thought and respect.
He may be too eager to push for more time together and create a whirlwind relationship.
He can immediately cast you in the role of the love of his life and press for exclusivity and instant intimacy. He may text or phone you incessantly, or need to know where you are at all times.
He may not respect your boundaries and privacy, or may ignore your wishes, or want to be included in everything you do.
He may tend to want to control the situation and you compulsively, eg insist you ride in his car, hold on to the car keys, the money, or the theatre tickets. He may disapprove if you are away for too long, and interrogate you when you return. He may insist on a dress code.
He may act in a patronizing and condescending manner and criticise you often. He may emphasise your smallest faults (devalues you) even as he exaggerates your talents, traits, and skills (idealises you).
He may be wildly unrealistic in his expectations from you, from himself, from the budding relationship, and from life in general.
He may tell you that you make him feel good. Next thing, he may tell you that you make him feel bad, or that you make him feel violent, or that you provoke him.
He adopts a physical posture which implies and exudes an air of superiority, seniority, hidden powers, mysteriousness or amused indifference.
He takes part in social interactions and banter condescendingly, from a position of superiority.
He may ask for special treatment of some kind. Not to wait his turn, to have a longer or a shorter therapeutic session, to talk directly to authority figures (and not to their assistants or secretaries), to be granted special payment terms, to enjoy custom tailored arrangements, and can
frequently and embarrassingly dress down service providers such as waiters or cab drivers.
He flatters, adores, admires and applauds you in an embarrassingly exaggerated and profuse manner.
In general, he prefers show-off to substance and is shallow. He will not admit to ignorance or to failure in any field.
He may brag incessantly. His speech is peppered with I, my, myself, and mine. He describes himself as intelligent, or rich, or modest, or intuitive, or creative, but always excessively, implausibly, and extraordinarily so.
His past life may sound unusually rich and complex. His achievements often seem beyond his age and education. Yet, his actual condition is in reality incompatible with his claims. He name-drops and claims other people’s experiences and accomplishments as his own.
He likes to talk about himself and only about himself. He is not interested in others or what they have to say. He is never reciprocal. He acts disdainful, even angry, if he feels an intrusion on his precious time.
In general, he is very impatient, easily bored, with strong attention deficits, unless and until he is the topic of discussion.
If you ask him about his emotions, he will intellectualise, rationalise, or talk about himself in the third person and in a detached scientific tone.
He may become enraged when required to delve deeper into his motives, fears, hopes, wishes, and needs.
He is usually very serious about himself. He may possess a fabulous sense of humour, scathing and cynical, but rarely does he make jokes at his own expense.
If you have found that you are already in a relationship with a Narcissist, and would like relationship counselling, or help in leaving a Narcissist, contact us at the Hart Centre Australia. We have over 50 Psychologists around Australia who have been educated in Narcissism and can knowledgably help you in dealing with your situation. We also offer Skype sessions for overseas clients or those you can’t attend one of our centres. Phone Australia 1300 830 553, or +617 55190004
Home Solar Power Now Cheaper than Coal
Home Solar Power is now cheaper than Coal By installing Solar Power on your home you now have the capability to generate your own clean electricity for less cost than dirty coal based electricity whilst also doing your bit towards saving the planet.
How Solar Power works:
Solar Panels or photovoltaic panels convert light energy from the sun into direct current electricity. This direct current power is then sent to a box called an inverter that converts this electricity into alternating current power that can be used within your house or be exported to the public grid for other houses in the area to purchase.
The Price you are currently paying for electricity:
Depending on the state and location you are in and depending on the time of day you use power will depend on how much you are charged for it. On average, households can pay between $0.30 and $0.40 per Kilo Watt Hour for electricity during peak hours which are usually between 2pm and 8pm. Costs for shoulder period electricity may be around $0.15 to $0.20 per KwH. .
The Price of Solar Electricity:
As most homeowners buy or lease a Solar Power System rather than actually buy the electricity, the standard mechanism for determining the actual cost of this electricity is done using the LCOE (Levelised Cost of Electricity). This is calculated by taking the upfront cost of the system and dividing it by the amount of KwH’s it will produce over its lifetime. .
Currently a 1.5kW Solar Installation costs around $2,500 fully installed (after available rebates). Over the expected 20 year life of the system, it should produce around 36,000 KwH’s. When dividing the upfront system cost by this number, it equates to an average electricity price of under $0.07 per KwH - significantly cheaper than current electricity costs. As electricity prices significantly increase over time this difference becomes even greater, as the electricity costs from the Solar Power installation remain the same.
To understand your options for getting your home powered with Solar Panels, or to understand more about Commercial Solar Power contact Todae Solar on 1300 GO SOLAR for high quality Solar Power Installations across Australia.
What is Narcissism?
Have you ever got the sense that your partner thinks he or she is generally superior to you, or more entitled to things than you are? Does he or she find a multitude of ways to devalue you or ignore you? Does he or he try to control you? If so, you may be living with a Narcissist.
Narcissism is considered a spectrum Disorder, which means that there are degrees of manifestation of the characteristics, so a person could have a couple of Narcissistic traits, right through to many or all, which means they would be closer to a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as defined in the DSMIV.
Generally speaking, Narcissism is a condition of an Inflated False Self, which gives him or her a strong sense of self importance and a grandiose image of himself. He enters into relationships entirely for the purpose of keeping his grandiosity reinforced, as a source of Narcissistic supply for himself. He will idealise those who mirror this for him and devalue anyone as soon as they don’t. There is a real lack of genuine empathy for, or real interest in others, and a massive denial of his own problems, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.
How did you become a willing victim? Why you?
If you find yourself in a relationship with a Narcissist, at some stage you might wonder why you? What does this say about you, your tolerance for pain and your sanity?
It is true that there is a particular kind of person that finds themself with a Narcissist, at least often well beyond the first indication that there is an underlying nastiness in him.
The type of individual who seems to unwittingly attract a Narcissist is someone who has Borderline characteristics, (which has also been referred to as Co-dependent or compliant) and has a deflated false self.
In Transactional Analysis terms, a Narcissist’s underlying Life position is I’m Ok, You’re Not OK, whereas a Borderline’s underlying Life Position is I’m Not OK, You’re OK.
Interestingly, a Borderline’s profile is less defended that the Narcissist, and less destructive to others, and therefore closer to achieving a healthy relationship, if you can gain true insight into what is happening and what is going wrong in your relationships and be able to develop a stronger identity and boundaries.
Can our relationship be helped?
If both you and your partner are committed to make your relationship a healthy and happy one, then I believe this is worth working on.
Finding a Psychologist who is familiar and experienced with these conditions is important as Narcissism can be notoriously difficult to pick up in a few sessions if the Psychologist is not trained in this. (Education on Narcissism is taught in Psychology courses but does not fully explain the widespread occurrence of this condition, and also the full ramifications of this, particularly to the partner. We at the Hart Centre are committed to ongoing training in these areas and in supporting you in managing yourself and your relationships.)
The success of relationship counselling and marriage counselling depends on many factors, but is largely due to the commitment of both partners to see their patterns and contributions, and be willing to change.
You will often not know how willing you and your partner are to do this until you attempt to do so. You will be able to see for yourselves over 3 to 6 sessions what real effort each of you are putting in to see the problems, own your contributions and make changes.
We can also support you if you have decided to leave your Narcissistic partner, and want help and assistance in rebuilding your life.
The Hart Centre has 54 centres for relationship and marriage counselling around Australia, so you will most probably find one close to you. You will find our Sydney relationship counselling centres in 15 different locations in Sydney, both in the CBD and suburbs. In Adelaide we have relationship and marriage counselling centres in 5 locations across Adelaide. Phone 1300830552 to speak to our friendly receptionists.
For relationship counselling Sydney and marriage counselling Sydney contact the Hart Center. The Hart Center can also help with marriage counselling Adelaide.
Hay - New South Wales
Located near the grand Murrumbidgee River in idyllic South Western NSW, the Riverina township of Hay has expanded from its modest origins in the Gold Rush era to a significant agricultural and transportation nexus and popular tourist attraction. Combining natural beauty, historical heritage and important Australian industry, the Hay Shire includes both the town of Hay as well as the nearby villages of Booligal, Maude and One Tree. The flat saltbrush plains of Hay are home to some of Australia’s leading wool growing and sheep meat producing areas, as well as cattle ranches and various agricultural outputs such as corn and garlic.
Also around Hay are the Riverine Forest, Grey Box Woodlands and Native Scrublands, home to a substantial amount of diverse Australian wildlife, such as Kangaroos and Tiger Quolls. The plains of Hay have given ideal living conditions for human settlement going back to the Nari Nari Aboriginal community who inhabited the area. White settlement started with the founding of four squatter properties, growing into a community funded by trade with the stockmen and riverboats who traversed Langs Crossing.
Along with the founding of a hotel, post office and courthouse, Hay grew substantially with the famous Cobb and Co making it their base of operations for Victoria and the Riverina, including the largest stagecoach factory outside of Sydney. Growing tenfold in population, Hay was later decimated due to virtually every adult male volunteering for service in World War I, of which 1/6 were did not return home. Hay’s population would later be doubled after the thousands of POWs and refugees held in the area during World War II were released and later resettled in Hay. Still a rural agricultural town, Hay recognizes and celebrates its history and natural beauty with a number of locations and establishments that cater to tourists and locals alike.
For short term accommodation hay, accommodation hay or holiday home hay, make sure you investigate Murrumbidgee Cottages. Both of our cottages are situated just a short distance from the picturesque Murrumbidgee river and are perfect for families. If you are looking for a holiday home for a couple of days, short term accommodation or even something longer either would be a great fit.
How does Relationship Therapy Work?
Does relationship counselling work? How about individual therapy for anxiety and depression. Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney, a leading service provider, answers your questions about counselling therapy.
A common question asked by clients is: ”Does counselling really work?” You could be considering getting some help for your relationship, with anxiety or stress, or perhaps low mood or depression. Whatever the cause of concern, there’s good news: clinical counselling has proven to help people with common mental health complaints such as anxiety and depression. And importantly also, counselling for marriage or couple issues is a helpful treatment for helping couples improve their relationship.
How does counselling work?
There are several different modalities which counsellors can use to help you. The chosen mode will depend on a counsellors training and their assessment of your problem. Treatment for anxiety and depression can include cognitive behavioural therapy. This treatment works to look at behaviours and thoughts that currently increase your level of anxiety or depression, and help you to overcome this patterned response. For example, people who experience anxiety may tell themselves things like: ’I can’t make it’, or ”I will be terribly embarrassed if people see how nervous I am”. Such beliefs are recognised together with your therapist, and new, more accurate self-representations are now used to challenge these beliefs. With ongoing practice and perhaps some skills training such as relaxation, great results are experienced by most people.
Can relationship counselling help my marriage?
It’s important to accept that relationships go through phases, from the initial honeymoon stage to the many stages of maturing of the relationships. For most couples, as a relationship matures, so do personal demands and responsibility, be it in the form of increased work pressure or children coming along, etc. As these common pressures increase, the partners in a relationship may no longer be able to accommodate the other’s emotional needs, and conflict may develop - perhaps into frequent and recurring arguments. Relationship counselling enables each partner to learn to calm their own distress, whilst also learning to identify and name the unspoken needs that are not satisfactory. Partners begin to negotiate what they can do for each other and which demands may need to go unmet. A new, more realistic life plan is identified.
What issues can our psychologists help with?
Therapists and psychologists are familiar with helping with a broad range of issues including anxiety or stress, depression or sadness, couple and marriage issues, grief and bereavement, addictions, anger management, eating disorders and many other complaints of modern living.
How can I choose a counsellor or psychologist?
Contact a registered counsellor or psychologist for a start to a better life. Licenced mental health professionals can work with you to overcome emotional challenges. Depending on the country you are in you can get assistance from the professional body that registers psychologists or counsellors in your state. In Australia, Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney are able to offer details of a registered therapist near you.
Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney - Sydney counselling services including, cognitive behaviour therapy, general counselling, psychology and marriage counselling Sydney. Call (02)8205 0566 or visit 418/185 Elizabeth Street, Sydney 2000.
Blood in Crime Scene Investigation
At the scene of a violent crime, the examining officer will likely discover blood and evidence of other bodily fluids. These are able to tell a great deal about what occurred, not only regarding details of how the crime was committed, but also about the people involved.
Nearly everyone knows their blood type, whether it is A, B, AB, or 0, and Rhesus negative or positive. This division of blood into types was first made by Austrian physiologist Karl Landsteiner at the end of the 19th century. In his experiments, he took samples of blood and separated the red cells from the liquid, called serum. He achieved this by spinning the blood at high speed in a centrifuge. Then he took the serum and added red cells from different people. They acted in two different ways: either the cells mixed with the serum, or they clumped together (clotted), which is called ‘agglutination’.
Many attempts at blood transfusion had been made in the past, but this observation explained for the first time why a great proportion had failed. If the blood was not of the same type as that in the body, it produced the clumping of red cells, and the patient died. Tests of blood samples to discover whether agglutination will happen is now done before a transfusion is performed.
DIVIDING BLOOD INTO GROUPS
Red blood cells carry substances called antigens. Antigens help make antibodies which fight infection and disease. Landsteiner believed that his experiment showed the presence of two specific antigens, which he labeled A and B. The discovery of these antigens enabled him to divide human blood into 4 basic groups:
Group A: antigen A present; antigen B absent
Group B: antigen A absent; antigen B present
Group AB: both antigens A and B present
Group 0: both antigens absent
The specific blood group of a person depends on the genetic inheritance from both parents. Known as ABO typing, it has been used, for example, to help identify the biological father in paternity cases. How common each group is can vary from one national population to another. In the United States, for example, the relative proportions of ABO groups are roughly 39 percent A, 13 percent B, 43 percent 0, and 5 percent AB.
In 1927, Landsteiner found two other antigen types, labeling their occurrence as M, N, and MN. In 1940, working in the United States, he and A.S. Wiener discovered the Rhesus factor, named after the Rhesus monkeys they investigated. Since then, other researchers have introduced more than a dozen additional group systems. Different proteins and enzymes associated with specific blood groups have also been identified.
WHAT THIS MEANS FOR FORENSICS
The ability to identify blood type is an excellent tool to reveal crucial evidence in a forensic investigation. If, for example, a victim’s ABO type is O, and remains of blood of this type are found on clothing of a suspect whose type is A, there is a possibility that they have come from the victim.
Making use of the many other blood typing systems now available, this probability can be increased greatly. If blood of type O occurs in 43 percent of the population, the substance haptoglobin-2 in 36% of these, and the enzyme PGM-2 in 5%, then the probability of an individual having these three blood types together is 43 x 36 x 5 = 7,740 in 1,000,000. In other words, around 8 people in every 1,000 will have this specific type of blood. It is still insufficient to obtain a conviction on this evidence alone, but it can help to reduce the group of suspects.
In 1925, another important discovery occurred. Around 80% of people are ’secretors’. This means their saliva, urine, perspiration, and semen contain the same substances as their blood, and can be used for typing in a similar way. In 1940, two British researchers discovered that it was possible to distinguish between female and male body cells, especially the white blood cells and those of the lining of the mouth. Blood typing has now become so precise that recently one scientist showed that he could distinguish between the blood of his twin daughters, who were genetically identical, because one had suffered from chicken pox and the other had not.
SPLASHES OF BLOOD
At the scene of a violent homicidal attack, blood may be present in great quantities. Not only will it be found on the victim, but also on the weapon and the surroundings. Indoors, the floors, walls, and even the ceilings may be splashed. Careful observation of these bloodstains can provide valuable clues about what took place. Bloodstains and splashes are classified into six basic types.
Round drops are found on horizontal surfaces; depending on the height from which they fell, they can spray out into a starlike shape. Splashes of blood are shaped like an exclamation mark; they show that blood has flown through the air and hit a surface at an angle. While a victim is still alive, spurts of blood come from the pumping action of the heart. A major artery can spray blood a great distance.
Pools form around the body of the bleeding person. If there is more than one pool, he either crawled, or was dragged, from one spot to another before dying. Smears will also be found if this happens. Trails are left when a bloody body is moved. There will be drops found if the body was carried, and smears if it was dragged.
If you are looking for a Sydney Criminal Lawyer, contact Go to Court. Our Sydney Criminal Lawyer is here to help. BS14082011SCL
Fire up the Spit Roast Dad !
Everyone has their special memory of family barbecues when they were younger, with dad at the helm turning the meat. A spit roast can be described as the ultimate barbecue for an evening of socializing be it with friends or family. This is because the rotisserie serves as a centerpiece for the evening as well as a handy conversation starter. One of the greatest benefits of a spit roast is the ease of use compared to that of a traditional barbecue. No more slaving over a hot grill hoping that the meat is just right. The rotisserie takes care of even heat distribution as well as leaving the “cooks” hands free to actually enjoy the party.The only thing that a chef needs to concentrate on is the basting of the meat and veggies on the spit, one might favour a smokey hickory baste, or maybe a special family recipe. The options are boundless and only limited to ones imagination. Spit roast hire Sydney can help you get your spit roast organised with supplies and advice.
Another great benefit of the Spit roast is the ability to serve any number of people that may be present at the occasion. Did ten extra guests suddenly crash the party? No problem! just slap on another hunk of meat to the rotisserie and you’re sorted! This does not necessarily mean that one needs to cook huge amounts of meat at a time in order have a spit roast. Any number of portions can be catered for, be it two or fifty people.
It’s quite easy to assume that vegetarians would be left out of the equation when talking about a spit roast, this could not be further from the truth. There are various options available for vegetarians which involve placing different vegetables such as aubergines or squashes on the rotisserie. These can be placed right next to the meat so that everyone at the party is catered for with nobody feeling excluded. The presence of a spit roast can truly give a party a greater chance of success.
Cheap SEO Packages Promo Video from Mister Purple
Here’s a funny parody video about the SEO industry presented by Mr Purple Cheap SEO packages.
Law firm marketing: Making the most of what you’ve got!
Whether the legal marketing strategy for your law company is based on online marketing, niche marketing to particular industries, traditional advertising, or just retaining and growing a share of a solid growth of clients, you’ll need to create content.
Content is the lifeblood of legal marketing, and without it you may as well not have a law firm marketing plan. However, producing content requires hard work, and you must make the best of the writing that you manage to produce. Following are some suggestions to help you use two of the most popularly produced types of legal marketing content as best you can.
Law Firm Marketing - Written material (blogs, email alerts, brochures, guides, information sheets)
If you have written some quality, interesting material of any of the forms mentioned, you don’t need to only send it off once or print it and let it sit in your reception area. You can distribute the content as much as is possible. For every piece of written material you produce, consider:
- Have I sent it to as many, relevant, clients as possible?
- Is it loaded to my website?
- Have I emailed it directly to people who have referred me, associates and other professionals?
- Have I linked to it with a post on Facebook and a tweet on Twitter?
- Has it been sent to media contacts?
- Are others in the company aware of it and could they explain it in detail if a client has queries about it?
- Can I turn it into another type of content and distribute in a different format?
Law Firm Marketing - Presentations
Presentations are generally prepared with a particular reception in mind, or because of a particular request. Therefore they tend to be presented once and then left to become stale. All of the time involved in preparing them gets only a one time showing. If you want to get much more out of your presentation consider:
- Who else can I show it to?
- How could I let the greatest number of people know about it?
- Have I mentioned it on our website, Facebook, Twitter, or offered to present it to others?
- Is it relevant to send the presentation in hard copy to those who were unable to attend the seminar?
- Could I record an audio or video of the presentation and distribute it electronically online or directly?
- Is it viable to write an article or blog discussing topics that arose during the presentation?
- Have I followed up with additional content to all the people that attended the presentation?
While these suggestions might seem like more work at a time when you’ve possibly created a dent in your monthly billings with the amount of time you spent preparing the first lot of material, it’s important to consider that it’s far easier to add a tiny amount of time at the end to really maximise on what you’ve already produced than it is to produced a whole new piece of legal marketing material.
Increase the benefits of the time you put into law firm marketing and you’ll discover that the next time you create some content you’ll feel more confident about how effective the results will be.
John Gray is a practising lawyer and the Senior Marketer at John Gray Marketing, an Australian specialist law firm and legal marketing consultancy. If you are interested in law marketing, legal marketing and marketing for lawyers, contact John Gray today.
Relationship Combatibility Factors
Relationship and Marriage counseling can assist you find out how suitable you are.
The two most important factors that decide how compatible you are as a couple are:
A similar degree of psychological health and maturity and a compatible ranking of Instinctual Variants.
What are Instinctual Variants?
The 3 Instincts represent the inherant energy or drive that are essentially part of us as humans. Our actions are highly engaged with and is often dependent on these libidinal, instinctual energies to give it its spark.
Self Preservation Instinct.
People of this Instinctual type are often with the essential existential needs as they translate into our modern society, for example, money, food, housing, health, safety and comfort.
Being secure and physically comfortable are priorities, and they will often bring these supplies with them.
When entering a room, they will tend to notice lighting, uncomfortable seating, the room temperature, when the coffee break will be, and whether they will like the food provided. They tend also to be the most practical in the sense of taking care of important necessities of life.
They are the most introverted of the types.
Sexual/ Intimate Instinct.
People of this type have a strong desire for severity of experience and intimacy. The forthright riveting gaze is the dead giveaway. When they enter a situation they gravitate toward people they feel magnetized to, as if they are looking for the juice. These people can be intimacy junkies, often ignoring pressing matters or even basic maintenance if they are infatuated with something that has captivated them. This gives a wide ranging exploratory approach to life, but can also give a lack of focus on one’s own goals.
Social Instinct.
People of this type are focused on their interactions with other people and with the sense of value and self esteem they derive from their participation in collective activities. These include work, relationships, side activities and clubs.
Upon entering a room, these people would immediately be aware of the relationships and subtle politics between different people and groups. They are subconsciously focused on other’s reaction to them, particularly about whether they are being accepted or not.
They need to connect with others to feel secure, alive and energised. They seem to live for interacting with others, but they eschew intimacy.
They are the most extroverted of the types.
Within each person, one of these three Instincts will predominate. In fact these three traits can be ordered like the layers of a cake, with the most dominant one at the top. The least powerful one, at the bottom, is termed the blind spot.
These inherent instincts play a pivotal role in our relationships because personalities of the same type tend to share values and understand each other completely, and therefore feel very compatible.
In relationships between 2 different Instinctual types, each will struggle to convert the other.
For further information on discovering whether you and your partner are compatible, contact the Hart Centre Australia. We are Australia’s premier relationship and marriage counselling service with 53 locations Australia wide, and 8 relationship counselling centres in Brisbane, 3 marriage counselling centres in the Gold Coast, and 2 relationship counselling locations on the Sunshine Coast. Phone 1300 830 552 for appointments at all centres.
For relationship counselling Brisbane, marriage counselling gold coast and marriage counselling sunshine coast, contact your local Hart Centre.